The “S” Experience by my definition is the way in which family and friends treat and perceive you on your journey to success. Yesterday, I shared with you my experiences and hoped many of you can relate or learn from it. We are all human and have our moments of feeling jealous when someone else does better than we do. So keep that in mind when you encounter someone who can’t deal with your success. Here is what Creative Path to Growth had to say about coping with The “S” Experience:
1. Do not lessen your worth just so your friends won’t feel bad. If your friends are not willing to accept you for who you are then find other friends. However, if they accept your success and both parties are willing to be accommodating to change then by all means, keep them in your life.
2. Properly understand what you are dealing with (jealousy, resentment, fears) in order to objectively evaluate your relationship with that person.
3. Practice empathy – remember a time in your own past when you felt jealous or resentment towards someone successful who was close to you. Seeing it from their perspective gives you more compassion as you decide how to proceed and deal with your emotions.
4. Reflect on how you treat your friends and family and make adjustments as necessary.
5. Carefully approach the loved one or friend using an “I feel_____” statement. (“I feel hurt when you tell me that I seem fake now because I am now seen as spending a lot of time at events with influencers/celebrities.” If they can hear your feelings and adjust their behaviors to allow for healthy interactions, then you have won back a friend. If they cannot and get defensive, then you may have to make a very difficult choice – see the next step.)
6. If the critical remarks and negative comments continue and begin to cause you to question your ambition and success,then remove yourself from that person’s negative sphere of influence. Take the first step at creating emotional and physical boundaries which sets limits between you and that individual. If we allow people to continue to criticize, judge, and interact negatively with us, this sends the signal to them that this type of behavior is accepted. We all need to know where the boundaries are and that there are consequences when they are violated.
7. Make new friends who understand the challenges and joys of the choices you’ve made; in my case, running my own business. Proceed with caution more carefully as you attempt to choose your friends. Surround yourself with people who laugh and smile a lot, people who compliment you, encourage you, and who are willing to give you helpful and constructive feedback that will bolster your mindset rather than tear it down.
8. In business, as in life, your mindset is vital, imperative and crucial. Guard it lovingly, nurture it, and nourish it with positive and supportive friends and mentors. If you have a lot of negative friends or loved ones surrounding you, consider getting help with your boundary-setting and mindset nurturing. Coaching or counseling can provide excellent help with this. (As someone who goes to counseling for peace of mind, I totally recommend it.)
Did you find these tips as helpful as I did? Let me why or why not!